Welcome back Dear Reader to Part 3 of this series, How Self-Care & Healing via Human Design Saved My Life! Are you ready for the next part?!
Now, I know I ended Part 2 saying we were going to dive into my deconditioning process through Human Design in Part 3, but that’s the funny thing about having predominantly right arrows in my variable. (Our variable are the 4 arrows at the top of our chart that face either left or right.)
Crash course in variables: Left arrows are more strategic, planned, active and detailed. Right arrows are future facing, for the highest good and others, feminine, and receptive.
I honestly don’t know what will come out of me, my mind and what I know with all my receptivity when I am invited to share on something. Thus, here we are! Diving deeper with a few more details and tea haha!
My Mercury gates (how I express myself and think) are the gate of depth (gate 48) and the gate 62… yes details! So, are you ready for a little more extra? A little drama for ya mama?! Lol! Let’s get into it then!
The End of Summer 2020: Catalytic Healing
We last left off in part 2 where I was coming up against some obstacles in business. I was venturing into the world of entrepreneurship. Wow, if I knew what I what I know now, let’s just say I would have gone about this journey a whole lot differently! But isn’t that how we learn, grow, and experience life fully?!
Creating and maintaining your own business will show you ALL the areas in which you get to meet yourself and heal. Beliefs about money, your self-worth, image, etc. Then add working with people on a spiritual and in-depth emotional level!
Coincidently, the mentors I was hiring to help support me in creating my dreams into reality mirrored all of the authority and parental wounding I had yet to heal!
(If you haven’t read part 1 or 2 of this series, you can read part 1 here! And part 2 here!)
Then to put the cherry on top, I thought it would be a great idea to try dating! As I was doing a million different things to get the ball rolling for my business. Saying this now with amusement and sarcasm as I can look back and see how disastrous this choice was for me.
I had yet to truly be in tune with waiting as a projector. Still very much in my not-self and initiating ways.
A Bouquet of Red Flags
Do you know the saying that goes, “there could be 100 people in a room and 98 of them would treat you right, but you choose the 2 that don’t”? Or something along those lines.
Well, that was dating for me. I was on an online dating app at the time and had the intention of meeting my match. As well as receive emotional and companionship support as I ventured out in this new area of my life.
Sidenote: I naturally tend to lean more into my feminine and receptive energy as well as have a projector aura. This wasn’t always the case (the feminine part that is or living as a projector)! Through healing and deconditioning, I found how I was operating more “masculinely” instead of being in a state of flow and trust.
Plus, I have single definition and designed to be more independent. But projectors need energetic support. Yay! ha-ha😜
The above image says it all! This person, we’ll call him “Fred,” at the time I matched with had a bouquet of red flags he practically handed to me from the beginning, and I gladly accepted! Fred and I’s experience was intense, short-lived, and ended just as abruptly as it started.
I was at a point in my life where I had done enough work to know that certain things were not okay with me when in relationship. Yet there was still my conditioning, programming, and limiting beliefs of love that were coming to the surface to break once and for all.
And that’s what Fred did for me. He welcomed a catalytic eruption for all my inner child wounds to start coming out. That were finally ready to start the healing process and self-abandonment in dating would never be a thing for me again!
Thank you, Fred! But man, was that a rough period! The healing process and journey is a vulnerable recovery of soul reconnection. It takes everything you got! For lightworkers, sensitives, and people committed to this path, it is a whole other paradigm and lifestyle that has yet to be normalized.
So, thank you for your commitment to yourself and for humanity as you are doing the work too!
Inner Child Healing & Reparenting
As the situationship with Fred ended I went through a good 3-4 months of DEEP healing and crying EVERY. SINGLE. DAMN. DAY. No joke. Feeling raw, vulnerable, and completely indifferent at times with reality. I was meeting parts of myself I hadn’t before.
I decided to actively not date or talk to anyone romantically for one year. (Notice this was the time frame I gave myself when I gave up alcohol too, huh!)
Seeing how I really needed this time for myself was radically different from what I had chosen in the past. This was breaking another layer deeper of codependency and what I realized was love addiction.
On the other hand, new aligned women friendships were blooming, and I was finding out what sisterhood meant for the first time.
Relationships that were outdated, kept me small, and in my not-self, were pushing me to choose something greater. Ultimately with the invitation to part ways and end them.
Self-Love + Action = Self-Care
Putting into action our self-love by choosing the “scary” new actions that goes against our programming, that requires us NOT to abandon ourselves for connection, belonging, or a false sense of acceptance, to follow our inner authority- that is TRUE self-care.
Letting go of toxic relationships, the way of being you participated in in those relationships, abandoning the habits that keep you disconnected from your emotions and traumas are all self-care.
As you can tell I am a student of self-care! I have a lot of experience with being in toxic relationships for WAY too long, seeing how I was showing up, and my unhealthy coping strategies to deal. It NEVER served my highest good, it only kept me in survival.
I have compassion for my past self, honor my healing journey, and share this personal experience with you in hopes it translates how easy all this stuff is to blind us. AND the possibilities from choosing something NEW!
Supported By the Unknown
So circa 2020, I was going to therapy, meeting lots of people through the online space, while being coached. The unknown forces were supporting me by some amazing miracle to be able to choose this path with no back up plan… How was this even possible?!
I received income through different sources that I qualified for. On top of having my mom (who is a generator-remember I mentioned how us projectors NEED that energetic support?!) help me out. This stretched me in unimaginable and uncomfortable ways.
As I was approaching 2021, I went FULL ON in my business. I mean I really amplified all my open and undefined motor centers. Investing in so much mentorship and how to show up online to sell.
(To learn more about how the defined and undefined centers operate, click here!)
It was fun, chaotic, disappointing and distraught at times, taught me a lot, and lead to extreme burnout where I got COVID for the first time at the end of 2021. Which was like another dark night of the soul! But we won’t go into the details of that here.
Invited!
I want to back up a bit and add something that I hadn’t mentioned before in this series. Our strategy shows up in so many areas of our life! While I still had my typical corporate America job before the pandemic, my boss at that time UNINVITED me! As well as some of her employees to leave if we were unhappy.
Yes, projectors, we can get the uninvitation too! I was shocked and yet I saw how this transpired for me to choose what I did. When we follow our strategy, and in my case, it was the invitation to leave, the universe 100% guides us on our journey. At least that is my personal belief!
Ra Uru Hu (the founder and channeler of Human Design) also mentions that this happens for projectors. When our invitation is up, we get to leave and wait for the next one. But if we are in our not-self our monkey minds can make up a story and our undefined sacral may not want to unplug. Even if the environment or situation has run its course.
The ULTIMATE Path: Deconditioning
Towards the end of 2021, while I was going full not-self bonkers with pushing my online coaching business to thrive I was still learning about Human Design through my own self investigation.
When I found out I was a projector in early 2018 my mentor at the time Lauren Kay Wyatt (who I mentioned in part 1) invited me to follow a projector guide. Raquel Reyna who has a Spiritualized Entrepreneur Human Design Facebook Group and YouTube Channel with her partner Davidian Lyon.
I started following her and taking in all her YouTube videos on the different types. Took some of her one-time classes here and there- fast forward 3 years later in 2021, I got invited to go through her certification course. Juggling different coaching spaces at the time, I was taking it ALL IN! I thought, why not I can totally do this!
And that is when I got TRULY initiated to start living my design and EVERYTHING radically changed for me even more…
The FINALE! Part 4 Awaits!
The next 3 years of going so tremendously deep into the Human Design modality, getting certified in a number of courses, deconditioning, and experimenting with my strategy and authority transformed my being on every level!
You cannot even imagine what is possible when you choose the experiment and what conspires for your highest good, your healing, and even for those around you!
Are you ready for the last part of this series?! Stay tuned for my favorite part! Deconditioning!
Huge Thanks!
I want to say a huge thank you to Feedspot for listing my blog under top 45 Human Design Blogs! It is such an honor to be recognized and share what I know about this modality, as well as my personal experience with it!
To check out our listing as well as the other top Human Design blogs you can check out their website here: https://blog.feedspot.com/human_design_blogs/
Twin Flame or Foe? Business Guide or Teacher of Self-Trust?
Can you relate to the dating scene? Has someone like Fred initiated you into your healing and you left certain patterns behind for good?
With the online selling and promises at an all-time high, can you relate to feeling bamboozled with what you were sold vs. the results that produced?!
I get it! And that’s why it is so important to know yourself, fully and completely! To have 100% trust in your inner knowing. Feel that trust with those you are meant to learn from. Be in safe, healing spaces and know what is and ISN’T correct for you.
That’s why it is my mission to provide this information to my divine fractal. (Our fractal is our specific people we are meant to do life with. Provide our sacred wisdom and gifts with this lifetime and are soul matches).
If you would like to receive laser and trusted guidance in your spiritual awakening and/or business ventures with igniting the powers of your Human Design let’s connect!
You can send me an email at [email protected] or go check out the coaching/reading pages in the menu! I look forward to hearing from you! Xoxo
